The Fine Art of the Insult

Friday afternoon I was riding my bike home after picking James up at daycare. It was a cool fall evening, the skies darkening early. James was tucked safely in the trailer, bundled in his winter clothes and a snugly blanket. There is one marginally steep slope on the way home that can be a bit of a challenge after a long day. As I was approaching this hill, I requested, "James, say 'Daddy, you can do it!'"

Immediately he did: "Daddy, you can do it!"

He then followed this with, "Daddy, try harder!"

At this, I burst into laughter and, of course, found the energy to pedal up the hill. At first, I thought this incredibly encouraging and sweet. James must have picked up on my reaction, because every thirty seconds or so for the rest of the ride home, he commanded, "Daddy, try harder!" One or two times of this is encouraging; after that, it becomes progressively more insulting, especially when you're already trying.

***

The following morning, I asked James what he wanted for breakfast. Being much like his mother, he declared, "Pizza!" So I obliged and made him a pizza bagel (kind of a compromise). As he chowed down, I asked, "Is it yummy?"

He replied, "No, it's yucky" through a mouthful of pizza bagel.

Taken aback, I said, "You're yucky."

He quickly responded, "No, you're yucky."

The boy has a quick wit.